Aloha Memories ~ Old and New

Warning: the following blog contains images of adult children vacationing with their parents and grandparent at a beautiful luxurious beach resort. . . .

In 2008 Bill and I went to Hawaii for a long weekend. It was free. Bill was at Northwest Airlines and we had flight passes and we used points to book the hotel. We stayed at the J.W. Marriott in Ko Olina on Oahu. It was an extravagant place, with chocolate covered strawberries in the room and orchids on every drink. A romantic getaway for sure. Each night we walked the three mile beach path south. It lead to the Marriott Beach Club, a very different kind of extravagant place. Here, families were swimming in the ocean, protected from undertows by an engineered lagoon. Nature with a little help. Swimming pools with lava islands, fountains and a water slide. Shave ice and sand-in-a-bottle crafts. I’d never seen anything like this. We decided right then, we had to bring three year old Mary and six year old Calvin back to this paradise.

So, the next year the four of us crowded into an efficiency room at the Marriott Beach Club. It was still almost free. When Calvin threw up on the descent into Honolulu I thought the trip was ruined. Maybe we will sit in the room with the flu. When his head popped up from the airplane sickness bag he chimed. . . “what airline is Honolulu a hub for?” All better. It was only the turbulence. . .and the junk food I had packed for the long flight. Some live and learn. An hour later Mary saw the ocean for the first time and ran into its arms. Love at first sight. “Daddy, why don’t we live here?” Who knew there was such a heaven on earth? The kids swam into the sunset and fell asleep before “hallowed be thy name.”

There was a learning curve. Twelve hours of swimming will put some dread locks into long blonde hair, and keeping Minnesota winter white skin from burning to a crisp was a full time job. This was a small price to pay for freedom. A place where your seven year old and four year old could roam free. They could take the room number and go get a chocolate milk from the market place in the morning. We could watch them out the balcony, hand in hand, brother watching sister, almost the whole way. You could ALMOST read a book on the beach. They made resort cities in the sand complete with runways and public transportation. Oh the tears when the waves came in. There’s no insurance for sandcastles.

The next year we brought my mom, and the year after that my sister and her family. This was too good to keep to ourselves. Eventually the perks ran out and it was unsustainable to bring everyone. We brought Sam one year, and after that it was back to the four of us and my mom. We couldn’t go every year. High school brought spring break responsibilities and it turned to every other year or every three years. Saving points. Sitting through time share presentations we would never buy just for the chance to return to paradise. Renting third party from God knows who. Bill is pretty creative when it comes to booking travel.

We have our rituals. We stop at Safeway grocery on the way from the airport to the hotel, and stock up on groceries for breakfasts and a few dinners. Janel cuts up fruit all week. She keeps the coffee pot half full and hot. We make sandwiches for picnics. Bill grills burgers. But lunch. . . is always the beach restaurant which has changed names along the way, keeping the same employees and menu. The view remains. I allow myself a glass of champagne with lunch and everyone orders the island BBQ pork quesadillas at least twice during the week. Longboards. . . we love you. Sitting outside, under coconut palm trees, 100 yards from the ocean. This is where you go in your mind when you are salting your Minnesota driveway in early May.

We walk the three mile path, back and forth and back and forth. Four lagoons. Nature versus the Disney resort. If you are a little creative, nature wins. You can find the wildlife. The beach is public in Hawaii, so if you walk on the rocks north of the old J.W. you can find a fifth lagoon, a real one, with monk seals and sea turtles. And shells. Mary and the shells. If there was a tide pool in our backyard we could just stay home with a little bucket to collect the treasures. Of course it would be frozen six months of the year. Commercial and military airplanes fly over the clear blue Oahu skies and Calvin comments on their livery and models. I’ve always found an occasional fighter jet overhead comforting. It’s beautiful here whether you are looking up or down.

There is the 4:00 piña colada club. No new news. No old news. Adjourned to the social program. As Mary turned 21 this year she was accepted into the club. She still substituted a shave ice.

Each morning, Janel wakes up first. Then Sara. Then Bill. We sit on the balcony drinking coffee until everyone is up. Bill drinks chocolate milk. Oh the balcony, protected from all but the windiest rain. Glorious table and chairs overlooking the energy of green, white and blue. The water, the sky, the alive plants we are lacking up north. It vibrates.

There’s always a couple outings during the week. To sacrifice a day at the beach and venture out takes a lot. We drive north through the Lost rainforest and mountains. We stop at Matsumoto’s for shave ice and tee shirts. It too has changed since we started. A new building along the way with a little less charm, but totally worth it for the real bathrooms. On to Waimea beach. The north shore. The real waves. The real lifeguards. Beauty so profound and powerful you hear it in your sleep for days to come. And maybe in the middle of the night back home you can pretend you hear it again. The crash of the waves on the sand. The driftwood. God’s beach. Where the children from Minnesota are not allowed to go in past their knees.

We do the same things over and over like we do, but each year we have tried to do one new hike. This year we drove to the trailhead of Ka’ena point only to be mudded out. Oahu had bad rain before we got there, and actually our whole week. For us it was a damp week, but for the people of Oahu there was danger of roads going out and dams breaking and even the cliff of the Waimea beach road was comprised. They were pouring emergency concrete in the rain on the fifty foot landslide between the road and the ocean. Life is beautiful there but also very tough. Water is rough on manmade things. Our infrastructures are all really just glorified sandcastles. They could wash away with a big enough wave.

I know it’s really special that we get to do this. We have returned to paradise so many times. I don’t take that for granted. We all feel grateful each time the planets align for us to go. This year, Calvin and Mary’s spring breaks coincided and we made it happen again against many odds. We escaped the snow storm of the year in Minnesota, and the TSA shutdowns and the flooding in Hawaii. We threaded the needle. One year there was threat of a tsunami. One year a false missile alarm.

Bill and I have played a few cards right. Our young adult children still want to travel with us and Janel. Our traditions and rituals are sacred. Tears were shed on the airplane going home.

The Kotrba future is wide open right now, beautiful and scary. Calvin is in love, future jobs and grad schools are uncertain. The five year plan for everyone is unwritten. Well. . . I’ll most likely and hopefully still be teaching piano in the suburbs.

Thank you Bill for making this trip possible with your creative hotel and airline revenue expertise. Thank you Janel for coming along, and cutting so much fruit and keeping the kitchen going. For sharing the space. Thank you Calvin and Mary for spending your spring break with us. I’m grateful for it all. Same time next year with six? Only time will tell. One year at a time. For this moment, the empty nest still managed one more successful migration to Hawaii.